80 pounds to lose

What works: Tracking everything you eat.

What doesn't: Pretending like it doesn't matter what you put in your mouth or if you move (at all).

I lost 3.8 pounds last week, and then proceeded to pretend like what I'd done the previous week didn't matter. I stopped tracking my food, and all weekend I've consumed everything in the house like it had no consequences. I didn't exercise, and I'll probably see a reflection of that at next week's weigh-in.

OR...I can step it up, actually get some exercise, and not eat like I'm training for a marathon. I have a choice.

I joined WW on wednesday. It's my third time trying it, and I hope that "it's a charm." I've been tracking my points very faithfully, and the most surprising thing has been how some of the foods I eat are a lot less healthy than I imagined. Last night, by eating three pieces of cheese pizza from a small Papa Murphy's pizza, I consumed 12 (yes, TWELVE) points. Now I know that there are some small tweaks I can make that will help me feel more satisfied, but will add up to fewer points. Fewer points means more pounds lost!

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to Spinning, then church, then work. Hopefully I'll have some time between all of the above to plan my week and my week's workouts. Next week is spring break for me, but I'm not going anywhere. This means I have more time to work out!

Now I'm carrying around my journal with me and writing down EVERYTHING I eat. Yesterday, I consumed 3195 calories. Good fracking God!

Tuesday: 3195 cal, 368 carbs, 136 fat (!!!), 115 protein
Today (Wednesday): 1523 cal, 221 carbs, 52 fat, 58 protein. (Much better. I need to buy salad tomorrow.)

How horrifying was tuesday? No wonder I'm 221 pounds! (15 stone 7.8 lbs)

My Day 1 was my only day on plan. I am disgusted with myself. My biggest problems:

1. I don't make time to work out.
2. I don't plan my meals in advance.
3. I eat on the run, usually fast food.
4. I eat too late at night.
5. Two words: Mocha Moolatte. 590 calories.

HELP!

CW: ???

Food:
4:30 am: 1 light & fit yogurt
1 english muffin
2 tsp I can't believe it's not butter

9 am: 1 c. wild blueberry cereal
1/2 c. 1% milk
3 cookies

12 pm: 1 c. mexican soup (chicken & noodles in a spicy tomato sauce)
1 piece german rye bread
2 tsp ICBINB

3 pm: 2 cookies

6 pm: 1 cookie
1 c. minestrone soup

water: 1 liter (low for today)

Exercise:
20 minute warm-up
45 min Strength training
15 min walking on treadmill

Class tonight until 10 pm.

CW: 226 (highest ever.)

I received my copy of "The Perfect Body Diet," by Women's Health Magazine today. (Well, yesterday, but I didn't get it until today, because I haven't been home.) I also weighed myself for the first time in a few weeks, and am very dismayed to find that I have hit 226 pounds. This is the most I've ever weighed.

And to make matters worse, I had McDonald's for breakfast this morning. I was just craving it, and I didn't stop myself because I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. It probably won't, and hasn't, but after weighing myself and finding how high my weight is, I am just really disappointed in myself.

But...I'm making a plan. I know, I've said that before. But I really do need to do something about my weight, fitness, and body image, and I'm the only one who can. No one else is going to do it for me.

So I will be focusing on greens and berries, with low-carbs. I wish I could go to the gym today, but I don't have enough time before I have to go to work. Ugh.

Past my oh shit weight, and yesterday my sister got engaged. She asked me to be her maid of honor, which is incredible and touching. My first thought was--I WILL NOT BE FAT in those photos. I have until 9/30/10 to lose 80 pounds. I'm doing well on food, and I will be going for a long walk around my (very hilly) neighborhood as soon as I finish posting. Today is a new day, and I am preparing for a new me.

Med/8-10
bust: 36 1/2-37 1/2
waist: 29-30
hip: 39-40

(They're almost the same as July's.)

August simple goals:

1. Drink 3 liters of water a day
2. 3 servings of fruit a day
3. 2 servings of veggies a day.

July reach goals:

1. Lose 2 pounds a week.
2. Strength train 4 x a week.
3. Only one empty calorie treat per day. (This is going to be a challenge for me.)

Rewards:

1. Meet simple goals 5x in a week--long bath with a new magazine.
2. Meet reach goals--new CD.

I got a thank-you note today from a friend who got married last year. The note included a picture of me and my boyfriend at the wedding reception, dancing.

I look enormous.

Seriously, I had no idea I looked this bad. I wish someone had told me before I gained 25 pounds...it would have been much easier to lose 40, rather than 65.

Oh well. If I ever need any motivation, I only need to look at that picture.

I'll consider posting it later.

5 ‘Healthy’ Foods That Aren’t
Posted by Cynthia Sass, MPH, RD at 7/19/2008 2:14 PM EDT
A few hours into a long flight the other day, the passenger sitting next to me asked me a question I sometimes dread, “So, what do you do for a living?” I can’t imagine being anything other than a nutritionist – it truly is my passion and I love it, but once I utter those words, people around me tend to become a little self-conscious about what they’re eating and drinking. I get it. I drive much more slowly and carefully as soon as I spot police car. I’m definitely not the food cop type, but I think some people feel like I’m going to whip out a nutritional citation. In this case, the man on my right responded with, “Look, I’m eating healthy!” He wasn’t asking for my opinion so I didn’t give it, but he was actually eating a collection of pseudo-healthy foods. Here’s what I mean:

Diet soda - it may seem like the perfect way to save calories and slash your sugar intake but studies show that diet drinkers actually weigh more than regular soda drinkers. For diet soft-drink drinkers, the risk of becoming overweight or obese tied to a 2 can a day habit is 57% compared to 46% for regular soda drinkers. Diet soda may throw off your natural appetite regulation, causing you to eat more sweets. It may also trick you into thinking it’s OK to indulge in high calorie foods because you “saved” by choosing diet soda.

Pretzels - the label may shout ‘fat free’ and seem like a better
alternative to chips, but they’re made with refined white flour stripped of its vitamins and antioxidants. They’re also dense so they pack a ton of carb calories for a very small amount and they’re not filling. Think of it this way - one 15 oz bag contains the equivalent of 24 slices of white bread.

Spinach wrap – I’m talking about the wrap itself here. It looks green and good for you but spinach powder is only a scant ingredient. These wraps are typically made from refined white flour and the green hue primarily comes from food colorings (Blue No. 1 and Yellow No. 5.). In other words you can’t rely on the immune boosting vitamins A and C found in fresh spinach and it’s much higher in calories. One cup of cooked spinach provides 65 calories, 105 less than a spinach wrap, which doesn’t count as a veggie serving. Not to mention the fact that the fillings often include ingredients like fried chicken, Ranch dressing, cheese and bacon!

Blueberry scone - even a trans fat free wild blueberry
scone packs over 400 calories (the amount an entire meal should supply) and over 50% of the maximum amount of artery-clogging saturated fat intake for an entire day. They also don’t count as a serving of fruit and they’re devoid of dietary fiber.

Vitamin water - yes it has vitamins, but at up to 200 calories per bottle (50 per serving with 4 servings per jug), just one of these a day can cause a 20 pound weight gain in a year’s time if the calories aren’t burned off.

Bottom line: that old saying, ‘All that glitters isn’t gold’ really holds true with food as well—all that appears healthy isn’t!

199: No longer obese
168: No longer overweight
150: 22.1 BMI--ideal
142: Within "ideal weight range"
129: Low range

...and it's only 3:45.

I interviewed today at the cosmetics store I worked at over the Christmas holidays. I was told that I was let go because of my class schedule, and, after today, I now understand that that's not the case.

The first thing that was said to me by my interviewer was, "I have to be honest with you." I hate conversations that start like that. Basically, the guy who interviewed me said that many of the management didn't want me back, because I "didn't receive feedback well" and they had some problems with me. This struck me pretty much out of the blue--I mean, I know of one incident when I didn't receive feedback well, but it was when I felt like the criticism was misplaced. (And, more realistically, "feedback" is code for "criticism" in this store.) He also told me that co-workers had said negative things about me, which also blindsided me.

Despite this, I went ahead and talked to the store manager. She's always been a passive-aggressive bitch, but the guy who interviewed me assured me that many things had changed since I'd been there. She asked me if I felt like I'd made friends while working there, and I told her that I did. She seemed surprised by this, because people had told her that they didn't feel "connected" to me. Then she asked me what I would change if I came back, and I told her that frankly I didn't know what I'd done wrong in the first place. That's when she told me that there was no place for me at the store.

I'm pissed because I wasted my time and gas money going out there just to be shot down. At the same time, I'm sort of glad that they told me what they thought about me. I know that I need to work on receiving feedback without being reactive, but I don't know how to do that.

Oy, what a day.

(I kinda feel like the Count from Sesame Street. Two! Two gold star days!)

Calories for tuesday: 1681 (woot!)
Exercise: 60 min spinning

Today:
Going to do 60 min of Pilates at the gym, and probably run later tonight.

Age: 27
Height: 5 ft 9
Weight: 219.5 lbs (15 st 7, if I did the math right)
Body fat: 46.09%
Pounds of body fat: 101
Lean body weight: 118

Bust: 48
Natural waist: 40
Waist at belly button: 44
Hips: 47

Rt arm at bicep: 14.5
Left arm at bicep: 16

Rt. arm at tricep:12.5
Left arm at tricep:12.5

Rt. thigh: 25.5
Left thigh: 26

Rt. calf: 15.5
Left calf: 15.5

Well, now I'm disgusted.

Monday-- Ran 30 minutes, drank 3 liters of water, ate 1820 calories. GOLD STAR DAY!!!

Tuesday (today)-- Spinning, 1 hr. Consumed 450 calories so far, but no fruits or veggies. Got to get on that.

July simple goals:

1. Drink 3 liters of water a day
2. 30 minutes of cardio a day, even if it's just walking around
3. No eating after 7 pm

July reach goals:

1. Lose 2 pounds a week.
2. Strength train 4 x a week.
3. Only one empty calorie treat per day. (This is going to be a challenge for me.)

Rewards:

1. Meet simple goals 5x in a week--long bath with a new magazine.
2. Meet reach goals--new CD.

Extended goals & rewards:

200: New t-shirt
198--FIRST 10%: Knitting class
190: Steel water bottle
180: Something from Signals wish list
178--SECOND 10%: 2 hour massage
170: Back tattoo
160--THIRD 10%: Tiffany's necklace
150: Hip tattoo
144--LAST 10%: Shopping spree, courtesy of bf

CW: 219.5

That's 2.5 pounds away from the heaviest I've ever been. This will not do.

Schedule for this week:

Sunday 6/29: Video at home
Monday 6/30: 5:30 am, Spin; 5:40 pm, Kickboxing
Tuesday 7/1: 9:30 am, Zumba, 6:30 pm, Pilates
Wednesday 7/2: 9:20 am, Spin; PM run & lower body weights
Thursday 7/3: AM run & upper body weights
Friday 7/4: Off
Saturday 7/5: 10:30 am, Cardio Blast

Upside: I did 45 minutes of intervals today.

Downside: I puked again. I was sitting in the locker room, ready to get up and leave, and I suddenly felt really nauseated. I thought I just needed to get out of the heavily perfumed air, so I went outside, where I promptly puked. It wasn't like I was really sick--it was just like the food needed to come back out. Once I was done, I felt better, though a little shaky.

In other news, I have a job interview tomorrow, and another on Monday.